Talk:Dark Prognosticus

Ahaha. How'd I find this place? I see anons spam it for some reason.

Mine as well vent to open air here. May help.

Nov 09, 2010

So like, I've been much better than years ago. Take a looka t my Digijournal page. Bluh. Embarassing.
Anyways, moved to college, got some friends, and feel a lot better. Or I did.

I'm in a MSPA RP commiunity. Been there for 6 months now. It was fun made a lot of friends. But lately they seem to be more focused with each other. I feel like the third wheel to a 40+ member community. I didn't even know that was POSSIBLE.

I tried talking to them yesterday, because that's what you DO when you feel left out. But I was ignored for 5 minutes. As I told my friend, it was like building up a sandcastle of self-esteme only for them to kick it down unintentionally.

I'll keep trying though.

Anyways, more problems. Let's see. Ah right. Love issues. This is the part you can groan to.

Well let's start with the obvious: No girl into me irl yadda yadda. Old shit that no one cares about.

Nami and I took it a step back (or well I did). She's a bit clingy at times. I always wanna help her but I don't know how. And seeing how I can't meet her anytime soon, the relationship just seemed burdensome to me. Holding me back for soemthing that might never flourish.

She still is in love with me. But I'm not sure how I feel. I feel bad though since I just want her happy. Just not ... giving up my freedom to do so.

Anyways, that's a bit better. She has been a bit worse lately but we jsut talked about it making me feel better... But the biggest problem isn't ONLY with her.

Sarah, a nice girl I met on MSPA RP. She recently confessed (or well, admited) to having a crush on me. She's a really sweet girl I think. But she is a bit panicky and tends to avoid problems which actually CAUSED one.

Nami doesn't like her becuase of a lie. Which I udnerstand, I mean, I hate lies. But she seemed sorry so... Anyways long story short, Nami thinks Sarah is two-faced since she seems mean to her but nice to me.

Two people liking me online, yet never having one irl. This is my life. Let's not even get into the MEN that liked me online o_e

But I digress. I guess the trouble was me being to affectionate with Sarah. But I figured that's just who sarah was. I went <3 too much and said a plantonic "love ya" or two when she said it. But she got confused and all. I said I'd cut back on that though. Sarah is a really sweet girl. And a friend. But I'm not ready for another online relationship, and she's still young and far away. Not too far but not close enough I could see her weekly. I don't think I'd want to date someone I only kne online for a matter of months again.

So yeah. Being crushed on on two differnt sides, yet somehow feeling lonely and disconnected. It doesn't make sense, but it's my feelings.

Well, yes. Typing it all out did help me. And I'm ready to suck it up and try to make everything better.

See ya. DP/Chad.